The Resource The dogma of Rufus : a canine guide to eating, sleeping, digging, slobbering, scratching, and surviving with humans : for new dogs, written by Rufus, an old dog, with the help of Larry, Zack, and Joey Arnstein, (electronic resource/)

The dogma of Rufus : a canine guide to eating, sleeping, digging, slobbering, scratching, and surviving with humans : for new dogs, written by Rufus, an old dog, with the help of Larry, Zack, and Joey Arnstein, (electronic resource/)

Label
The dogma of Rufus : a canine guide to eating, sleeping, digging, slobbering, scratching, and surviving with humans : for new dogs
Title
The dogma of Rufus
Title remainder
a canine guide to eating, sleeping, digging, slobbering, scratching, and surviving with humans : for new dogs
Statement of responsibility
written by Rufus, an old dog, with the help of Larry, Zack, and Joey Arnstein
Creator
Contributor
Subject
Genre
Language
eng
Summary
Slobber your way into their hearts ... and their food supplySo, youve been ripped out from your mothers paws and taken in by a strange family of humans that has kids who insist on flapping your floppy ears and dressing you up like a ladybug. These new human-folk are trying to teach you things, like sitting or not ripping apart their fun-looking shoes, and you might start to think you should try to obey. But I know better; Ive been around the block and peed on most parts of it. Puppies like you need my--wait, somebody just walked in with a hamburger. Gotta check this out. Ok, back now. Anyway, to survive in this world filled with brown-clad fools delivering packages and leashes, you need my guide to show you whats what in this dog-eat-dog world of ours. Like dog beds; your human might try to force you to sleep in one of these, but with my sly techniques I can show you how to weasel your way into their clean, fresh-smelling king-sized bed, or even stretch yourself out and have it all to yourself. Those imbeciles might think they are your owner, but youll show them who really owns who armed with knowledge on these subjects:- Advanced barking--how loud and annoying can you go?- Cars--catch your Moby Dick- Licking--what, where, when, and why- Biting--ask questions later- Welcoming guests--try not to hyperventilate- And much more!Communicating with humans can be difficult, as they are not very smart, but they give you things and throw you balls, so you might as well try to amuse them.100 color photos
Dewey number
636.7
Index
no index present
LC call number
SF422.5
LC item number
.A76 2013
Literary form
non fiction
Nature of contents
dictionaries
Label
The dogma of Rufus : a canine guide to eating, sleeping, digging, slobbering, scratching, and surviving with humans : for new dogs, written by Rufus, an old dog, with the help of Larry, Zack, and Joey Arnstein, (electronic resource/)
Instantiates
Publication
Carrier category
online resource
Carrier category code
cr
Carrier MARC source
rdacarrier
Content category
text
Content type code
txt
Content type MARC source
rdacontent
Contents
  • Cover Page; Title Page; Copyright; Dedication; Contents; Introduction; Human-Dog Dictionary; Section 1: The Fundamentals; Chapter 1 Human Food: Our Central Purpose (A Mission Statement); Dining Etiquette: Why Is a French Word Necessary?; One Bowl, Many Mouths; Chapter 2 Our Food: Also Good, But Dont Get Distracted!; Chapter 3 Sleeping: Easy to Pick up, a Lifetime to Master; Which Bed, Exactly. Is Our Bed?; NAPS; Chapter 4 Marking Your Territory: This tree is Mine. Also, this Fence.; My Daily Schedule; Chapter 5 Chasing Balls, Frisbees, Etc.: An Undeniably Captivating Experience
  • Chapter 6 Licking: What, Where, When, And WhyQ & A (First of Several); Chapter 7 Biting: Ask Questions Later; Chapter 8 SLobbering: Fundamentals to Advanced Techniques; Regulating Your Body Temperature; Chapter 9 Welcoming Guests: Try not to Hyperventilate; Chapter 10 Chasing Cars: The White Whale; Chapter 11 Getting Taken to College: A Beginner Course on Obtaining Beer; Section 2: Troubleshooting; Chapter 12 Distinguishing Between Catchable Items and Flashlight Trickery; Chapter 13 Rolling Over, Sitting, Etc.: Not as Easy as one Might Think; Dont Get Distracted by the Biscuit
  • Chapter 14 Barking: How Loud and Annoying can you go?Dont Forget to Bark every Once in a While for no Reason at All, Just to Keep em Guessing; Chapter 15 Cats: An Evolutionary Mistake; Ranking Other Pets; More Human-Dog Dictionary; Chapter 16 Going Professional (Seeing Eye, Crime Prevention, Etc.): More Work, Same Amount of Food; Dog Narcs; Dogs in Movies; Guard Dogs; Sheep Dogs: At Least Theyre Not Sheep; Note for Humans: Your Dog Is Your Therapist; Chapter 16 1/2 RAndom Stuff That Doesnt Fit Anywhere Else; Breed Stereotypes: Stuff Doggists Say; Dog Time
  • Dogs Day-Missing on the Calendar: Why?The Dog Newspaper: When?; Dog Philosophy; The Dog Suicide Prevention Hotline; Chapter 17 The Dog Park: A Small Step on the Road to Justice; Chapter 18 LEASHES: A GIANT LEAP BACKWARD; Walking Your Human; Bad Stuff Humans Buy at Pet Stores; Perplexing Questions about Sex Ill Do My Best to Answer; How Humans Lost Their Sense of Smell; Clothing for Dogs; Travelling; AstroTurf; Dog Gardening: A Better Way; Chapter 19 Homeland Security: The Ups Guy Hates Our Freedom; Chapter 20 Our Sexuality: What Is Happening to my Dog Body?; Sexual Problems
  • Leg Humping: What Could Be More Natural?Chapter 21 Holidays, Dog Halloween Costumes, and Other Stupid Human Habits you Should Know About; Section 3: Raising Humans; Chapter 22 Dog Whisperers: Dumbest Idea Since the Concept of Throwing Away Spoiled Food; Chapter 23 Dog Substitutes: If you DonT Have Time for A Dog, How About a Nice Dog Statue?; Chapter 24 The Boring, Passionless Life of The Human, and how we can Help; Veterinarians: Natural Disaster or Spawn of Satan?; The Poop Problem: Out-of-Control Human Weirdness; Religion; Who Owns Who?; Coffee: Why Dogs Dont Need It; Dancing with Dogs
Control code
ocn856413025
Dimensions
unknown
Extent
1 online resource (access may be restricted)
Form of item
online
Governing access note
Access restricted to subscribing institution
Media category
computer
Media MARC source
rdamedia
Media type code
c
Specific material designation
remote
Stock number
5F9DB80F-978B-4DAC-BD38-24CEAA5457D2
Label
The dogma of Rufus : a canine guide to eating, sleeping, digging, slobbering, scratching, and surviving with humans : for new dogs, written by Rufus, an old dog, with the help of Larry, Zack, and Joey Arnstein, (electronic resource/)
Publication
Carrier category
online resource
Carrier category code
cr
Carrier MARC source
rdacarrier
Content category
text
Content type code
txt
Content type MARC source
rdacontent
Contents
  • Cover Page; Title Page; Copyright; Dedication; Contents; Introduction; Human-Dog Dictionary; Section 1: The Fundamentals; Chapter 1 Human Food: Our Central Purpose (A Mission Statement); Dining Etiquette: Why Is a French Word Necessary?; One Bowl, Many Mouths; Chapter 2 Our Food: Also Good, But Dont Get Distracted!; Chapter 3 Sleeping: Easy to Pick up, a Lifetime to Master; Which Bed, Exactly. Is Our Bed?; NAPS; Chapter 4 Marking Your Territory: This tree is Mine. Also, this Fence.; My Daily Schedule; Chapter 5 Chasing Balls, Frisbees, Etc.: An Undeniably Captivating Experience
  • Chapter 6 Licking: What, Where, When, And WhyQ & A (First of Several); Chapter 7 Biting: Ask Questions Later; Chapter 8 SLobbering: Fundamentals to Advanced Techniques; Regulating Your Body Temperature; Chapter 9 Welcoming Guests: Try not to Hyperventilate; Chapter 10 Chasing Cars: The White Whale; Chapter 11 Getting Taken to College: A Beginner Course on Obtaining Beer; Section 2: Troubleshooting; Chapter 12 Distinguishing Between Catchable Items and Flashlight Trickery; Chapter 13 Rolling Over, Sitting, Etc.: Not as Easy as one Might Think; Dont Get Distracted by the Biscuit
  • Chapter 14 Barking: How Loud and Annoying can you go?Dont Forget to Bark every Once in a While for no Reason at All, Just to Keep em Guessing; Chapter 15 Cats: An Evolutionary Mistake; Ranking Other Pets; More Human-Dog Dictionary; Chapter 16 Going Professional (Seeing Eye, Crime Prevention, Etc.): More Work, Same Amount of Food; Dog Narcs; Dogs in Movies; Guard Dogs; Sheep Dogs: At Least Theyre Not Sheep; Note for Humans: Your Dog Is Your Therapist; Chapter 16 1/2 RAndom Stuff That Doesnt Fit Anywhere Else; Breed Stereotypes: Stuff Doggists Say; Dog Time
  • Dogs Day-Missing on the Calendar: Why?The Dog Newspaper: When?; Dog Philosophy; The Dog Suicide Prevention Hotline; Chapter 17 The Dog Park: A Small Step on the Road to Justice; Chapter 18 LEASHES: A GIANT LEAP BACKWARD; Walking Your Human; Bad Stuff Humans Buy at Pet Stores; Perplexing Questions about Sex Ill Do My Best to Answer; How Humans Lost Their Sense of Smell; Clothing for Dogs; Travelling; AstroTurf; Dog Gardening: A Better Way; Chapter 19 Homeland Security: The Ups Guy Hates Our Freedom; Chapter 20 Our Sexuality: What Is Happening to my Dog Body?; Sexual Problems
  • Leg Humping: What Could Be More Natural?Chapter 21 Holidays, Dog Halloween Costumes, and Other Stupid Human Habits you Should Know About; Section 3: Raising Humans; Chapter 22 Dog Whisperers: Dumbest Idea Since the Concept of Throwing Away Spoiled Food; Chapter 23 Dog Substitutes: If you DonT Have Time for A Dog, How About a Nice Dog Statue?; Chapter 24 The Boring, Passionless Life of The Human, and how we can Help; Veterinarians: Natural Disaster or Spawn of Satan?; The Poop Problem: Out-of-Control Human Weirdness; Religion; Who Owns Who?; Coffee: Why Dogs Dont Need It; Dancing with Dogs
Control code
ocn856413025
Dimensions
unknown
Extent
1 online resource (access may be restricted)
Form of item
online
Governing access note
Access restricted to subscribing institution
Media category
computer
Media MARC source
rdamedia
Media type code
c
Specific material designation
remote
Stock number
5F9DB80F-978B-4DAC-BD38-24CEAA5457D2

Library Locations

    • Plymouth Public LibraryBorrow it
      132 South Street, Plymouth, MA, 02360, US
      41.9422191 -70.6578858
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